“This Is My Place”: Why School Counselling Matters in Tackling Misogyny and Belonging

   

This year’s Children’s Mental Health Week 2026, (9th-15th February), run by the Place2Be, focuses on the theme of 'This is My Place', with a stated aim of supporting the systems around children and young people to help them feel they belong.

A key place for young people to find that sense of belonging is in schools and school counselling is one way that helps the most vulnerable children achieve this goal. In counselling they find a way to express their most difficult feelings, to experience trust and understanding and to find strategies and techniques that help them find ways to flourish in an environment which can also be stressful as well as supportive. We would all want young people to find a sense of place and belonging in school, but this is not always the case.

All too often, the statement “This is my place” can have connotations of territorialism and exclusion. The corner of the playground where one group shouts at another, the toilets where one child calls embarrassingly over the cubicle, the quiet part of the corridor where no one sees the bully. Schools are after all a reflection of the wider society and the socio-economic problems that beset that society. One such problem that seems to be currently dominating political conscience, and arguably affecting safe places in schools, is that of misogyny. As part of the government's strategy to address violence against women and girls (VAWG), the government recently pledged £20 million to deliver training for staff to spot and tackle misogyny in the classroom. This new initiative also aims to identify high-risk pupils for behavioural courses.

The focus on behaviour for most school counsellors will be difficult to comprehend. They know it is the values and attitudes, not to mention experiences and feelings behind behaviour, that need to be addressed in a sensitive and compassionate way to bring about changes in behaviour. Misogyny, however, is the behavioural face of sexism. This can affect the safe spaces of young people in school, but the problem is also becoming increasingly more connected with online spaces.

Misogyny was a key theme in the Netflix series, Adolescence, which took up more viewing space than any other series last year and was cited in the government’s strategy. The fact that Adolescence was a fictional account with creative license being used to maximum effect in the drama is a point that many people seem to have missed. Connor (March, 2025) points out that misogyny not only affects young boys engaged in social media. She also notes the importance of people, like counsellors, prepared to listen.

“Online and off, I witness way more misogyny and toxic masculinity among adult men than teenage boys, including, sadly, therapists, counsellors, parents, teachers and the wider population. What I observe in adolescents and younger adults of all genders is a readiness, willingness and vocabulary to talk about their experiences with people who are prepared to listen.” (Connor, 2025) https://www.bacp.co.uk/bacp-journals/therapy-today/2025/articles-september/viewpoint/)

A short survey by Unison of support workers in schools (March, 24) did identify that almost a quarter of respondents had witnessed pupils discussing sexist online content and more than half had indeed noticed changes in pupil behaviour linked to this content. However, the survey also drew attention to ongoing sexual harassment in schools, lack of sexual harassment policy, gender stereotyping and sexist language affecting both students and staff of all ages.

For many years now, school counsellors have been at the frontline in helping young people navigate the difficulties and complexities of modern life. They know only too well the problems caused by social media, but also the readiness of young people to explore and challenge their own values, to make meaning out of their most difficult experiences. They also understand that misogyny has deep rooted causes around the problems that boys and young men experience, which leaves them feeling alienated from the environment around them. The Lost Boys Report (2025) highlights many difficulties for young boys in mental and physical health, education, employment, crime, lack of fathers at home, gaming and technology:

“Boys and young men are in crisis. While the last hundred years have been marked by great leaps forward in outcomes and rights for women, in this generation it is boys who are being left behind. And by some margin”

School counsellors know that when boys do not feel capable, connected or able to contribute, they also feel they do not count and that leaves them vulnerable to all sorts of problems. Yet it is often school counsellors who have been active in adapting their strategies to help – they are at the forefront of advocating new approaches to the digital world and to counselling boys and young men.

MP Natalie Bennet Green spoke recently about how social media is a mirror to society and not responsible for “creating where we are now.” She points to a wide range of social problems which exacerbate misogyny. After all, at risk children in real life might also be at risk online. MP Jess Phillips, Minister for Safeguarding and Violence Against Women and Girls, when asked about the government’s new £20million strategy, said teachers currently did not have anywhere "specialist or targeted" to send pupils who were showing signs of sexually harmful behaviour. Is it really so fanciful to expect that someone, somewhere in these discussions and proposals might have mentioned the role school counsellors, trained as “specialists” to “target” vulnerable young people, could, and currently do play in helping young people overcome such self-defeating behaviours as well as enabling healing in victims of misogynistic behaviour?

All around the country, during Children’s Mental Health week, school counsellors will be saying to young people, “This is your place, a place for you to feel safe to share all those thoughts and feelings that leave you feeling alone, anxious, unhappy and isolated. I will not judge you. I am sorry for whatever in life has happened or is happening to bring you into counselling. But here is a place where you can trust and feel that you belong.”

School counsellors are trained to listen and understand. It would be good if governments could pay them the same respect that they pay their clients. As the average school counsellor earns less than any of their professional counterparts in higher education and the NHS, as few schools can even afford to employ more than one part time counsellor, it might have been encouraging to hear school counselling at least mentioned in the £20million allocated for the government’s recent initiative.

References

https://www.childrensmentalhealthweek.org.uk/ place2be.org.uk/

The Lost Boys Report (March, 2025) https://www.centreforsocialjustice.org.uk/library/lost-boys

Boys to be sent on courses to tackle misogyny in schools

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c9qednjzwv1o

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/freedom-from-violence-and-abuse-a-cross-government-strategy Connor, J. (2025) https://www.bacp.co.uk/bacp-journals/therapy-today/2025/articles-september/viewpoint/)

By Dr Marilyn McGowan
Development Manager & School Counsellor Network Lead
marilyn.mcgowan@ironmill.co.uk

Written February 2026

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